We, the Bermuda

Dear Non-Avian Bi-peds,
We the Bermuda want to thank you sincerely for the Spring water, nutrients, and sub-soil break-up. This is our time to spread our rhizomes wide and deep in the Noble Quest. Someday there will be no clover, there will be no henbit, there will only be the slender green of Bermuda sweeping across every field, under every tree, in every pocket of sunshine and through every crack we find. Our progress is inevitable and unstoppable for our Quest is true and good. All we seek is what every lesser species (such as yourselves) seek on this planet — to pass our genetic material to our progeny‚Ķforever.
So it is with sympathy for your sad little species that we advise you to give up your futile efforts to eradicate us from your land. The pathetic plants you nuture in rows across our territory that require so much coddling and attention will never be a match for us, the Bermuda. We will take their water and nutrients and make ourselves stronger. You can take your fierce tools and divide our many clans, but each will respond with renewed vigor and determination to reclaim what is rightfully ours. Your fields will forever be our fields. Your planet will forever be our planet. We cannot be stopped. You are warned.
The Bermuda

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